Client Reviews: Guinea Pig Daddy (11/10), Fantasy Guy, the Generous Newcomer & Asian Poker Face

I've been on a streak. A series of very nice visits, each one different, each one teaching me something. Here are the reviews.

Client One: Guinea Pig Daddy

Rating: 11/10

Today I saw a new client. One of those rare people who actually wants to go deep. Who reads my posts and recognizes something they've been searching for—intimacy, slowness, vulnerability. Someone open to surrender, to being guided into relaxation and pleasure and self-knowledge.

He came because he's recently separated from a ten-year marriage. A decade without real intimacy. He thought I could help him train, help him recover his abilities as a lover. He wanted to be good again.

What I told him, and what I meant, is this: he already is.

He may have lost some stamina. He may be out of practice. But the fact that he's struggling doesn't mean he's not a good lover. I genuinely enjoyed our session because of his energy, his presence, his willingness to share pleasure without performing. That's the foundation. Everything else can be rebuilt.

We're talking about an ongoing arrangement. Something deeper. Longer-term work that isn't just centered around pleasure, but around developing loving skills—using sexual energy and conscious sexuality to transform. This may become the prototype for a new kind of offering: surrogate partner work, for those who want more than a session.

He gave me 11 out of 10. I gave him the same.

From the very first message, he did everything right. Booked, deposited, asked what to bring before arriving, and showed up thoroughly prepared. He brought the items. He tipped in advance. He read my blog. He understood that I have the ability to create deep, transformative experiences—but it takes two. He put in the effort, and he got the benefits. Relaxation. Pleasure. Insight.

I asked for feedback and recorded his voice. You can read the transcription below.

Okay. Yeah, tell. Okay. I thought it was mind-blowing, um, for someone who was a little nervous about arriving here, um, just because, you know, I've been married for 10 years, separated for four months, and I've only been with my wife, but we haven't had any physical intimacy with anybody in the last four and a half years. So after seeing your ad, which is what drew me to you, like your diary, right? I could just feel there was a lot of substance down below, or like beneath what was there. So when I got here, totally put my mind at ease. Um, you know, we ate lunch, we relaxed, you let me tell you a little bit about myself. It was, for someone as high-stressed and tense as I am, it was the most liberating massage once I was able to actually let go. You were very patient, and your words helped a lot, like talking me through it, telling me when to let go, like just, you know. I'm sure you can feel the tension in the body as you're touching it. But yeah, you were a very good coach when it came to that way. You're beautiful, you're sensual, you're delicious, and it was a fantastic experience. Like In a way the best value for money I've gotten in a long time, and I mean that goes across the board. Like, yeah, totally. If I could give you 11 out of 10, I would give you 11 out of 10, but 10 out of 10 a hundred times over. If you are leaving on October 1st, I'm definitely gonna come see you before then. And who knows, maybe when I go to Toronto to visit my family, I can find you, but that's how good you are. So, thank you so much. I'm like, you've... It's a bit of a big day for me, like, because just all my own personal shit, right? But you made it super easy, and you made it super enjoyable. And I mean, like, yeah, it was not something I will forget for a very, very long time, in the best of ways. So, thank you.

One of the last things I told him was: I see you.

He earned the nickname Guinea Pig Daddy because I have a feeling he'll be the first to try many of the new things I've been dreaming up. Willingly. Enthusiastically.

Client Two: Fantasy Guy

Rating: Unchanged. Complicated. Tender.

He's a regular. Been visiting at least once a month since the beginning of the year. He's a fan of my writing—he's told me several times. He was curious, maybe even eager, to find out what I think about him. He's asked more than once whether certain blog entries were about him.

The first time he asked, it was a little awkward. The story he was hoping to see himself in belonged to someone else—another regular who hasn't visited in a long time. I've been holding the impulse to reach out to that one, to say hey, you haven't visited in a while, I miss you. But that wouldn't be professional. He might have moved on. He might have started a relationship. He was very handsome, a very good lover. I don't doubt that's possible.

Fantasy Guy, though—he's stayed. And I've had mixed feelings about him, especially early on.

When he was new, he would text after sessions. Ask how I felt. Want to go deeper in conversation. It put me in an uncomfortable spot. I can't invest much time texting outside of sessions—I already spend too much time on this phone. And with newer clients, it's always uncertain. Some just want free attention. Once they've taken everything they can, they leave, and there's no return on that investment.

I set a boundary. Softly. I explained that I couldn't reciprocate the level of depth he was bringing to text, that it wasn't sustainable for me given my responsibilities. I'm glad I managed it the way I did—firm enough to protect myself, gentle enough not to push him away. I wanted to keep him.

And I'm glad I did. Regulars make this work easier. I know who's coming. I know what they like. I know there won't be bullshit. Over time, the sessions get deeper, more intimate. That's what I'm best at, and that's harder to reach with someone brand new.

He still books the basic massage—the lower-tier one, at a rate I don't even offer anymore. He doesn't tip. He doesn't show gratitude with money. I asked him once to support a photo fund I was building—I asked a few regulars—and he said no. He might be on a tight budget. He might be a bit tacaño, as we say in the South. Either way, I match energy. If he were more giving, I'd be more giving.

But today, I felt like rewarding him anyway.

I gave him a blowjob and a more sensual massage than his rate would normally include. I even rode his dick for a while. It was a loyalty reward—like getting a free coffee after ten stamps on your card. (That's actually something I've considered doing formally. A regulars rewards program. 🤭 Maybe one day.)

He's earned it, in his own way. Consistency counts for something. Longevity counts. Showing up month after month, respecting the boundaries I set, being a steady, reliable presence—that's a form of generosity too.

Why "Fantasy Guy"?

Two reasons.

First: after his second or third visit, he told me he had a fantasy. He wanted to arrive while I was pretending to sleep—naked in my bed—and start touching me. A consensual non-consent scene. Something I'm comfortable with, under the right conditions. I told him yes, but it would require a deposit and clear logistics, because I didn't fully trust him yet. (You have to be careful. Some people visit once or twice, pay, get you to lower your guard, and then the scam happens.)

He didn't follow through.

A few weeks later, he came for another massage. Afterward, he mentioned another fantasy. Then another. Each time, he didn't pursue it. He just kept booking massages. And I realized: this is someone who gets enough satisfaction from talking about the fantasy, from having someone on board with the idea of it. He doesn't necessarily need to make it real.

That's okay. Some fantasies are meant to stay fantasy. I've learned that. I used to be someone who wanted every fantasy to come to life. I know better now.

Second reason: I think I'm helping him explore a whole landscape of long-held desires. He's told me I'm the first person with a dick he's ever given head to. One of our early sessions, we showered together, and looking back at his messages afterward, I can see how huge that was for him. A first. A milestone. He wanted to know if it was as special for me as it was for him.

That's the tight spot. I hate lying. But I also know my words carry weight. I didn't want to lose him. I think I navigated it gracefully.

So, Fantasy Guy: if you're reading this—hello. You have a nickname now. Welcome to the hall of fame 😘. And yes, the blowjob was on the house. You're welcome. 🤭

Client Three: The Generous Newcomer

Rating: 9/10

Yesterday, someone reached out with one of those messages that tells me everything I need to know. Brief, warm, empathetic. Hi, my name is X, I'm this age, I was wondering about your availability because I'd like to see you.

I asked the usual questions. Age, ethnicity, role, size, desires. His answers were thoughtful. When he described what he was into—foreplay, sensuality, neck kissing, usually topping but curious about bottoming—the way he phrased it told me he was the kind of person I was in the mood to meet.

So I had to decide: what price do I give him? My standard rate, risking it being out of his budget? Or a lower rate, risking leaving money on the table? Age helps me estimate, and he was fairly young, so I gave him something moderate.

His response was perfect: That's a bit above my price range, but I don't want to bargain with you. I'd feel bad doing that.

That attitude? That's exactly the attitude that gets you a better price.

I asked his budget. He told me. I accepted, because I knew the session would be enjoyable.

Then, as the appointment approached—I'd had a busy day and no proper lunch—I asked him to bring me some protein bars and a mochaccino. He did. But he didn't bring one protein bar. He brought several. And a bottle of wine.

I don't drink wine, but I have uses for it. Offerings. Friends who appreciate a good bottle.

The point wasn't the wine. The point was the gesture. He brought something I didn't ask for. He showed thoughtfulness. That put me in an exceptionally good mood.

The session was lovely. It would have been a 10 if not for one thing: he finished sooner than he wanted, and then he couldn't let it go. He got in his head. Kept apologizing. I told him I didn't care—I'd had a good time, I enjoyed what we did—and invited him to stay, to cuddle, to let his body reset. He'd paid for an hour; he was getting the full hour. But he couldn't shake the feeling that it was over.

That's the script so many men carry: once I come, the fun ends. I tried to rewrite it in real time, but he wasn't ready. I didn't force it.

Still. A generous, present, genuinely lovely session. If he comes back and learns to relax into the full hour—whatever his body does or doesn't do—he'll be a 10.

Client Four: Asian Poker Face

Rating: 8/10

He booked the sensual domination massage. Efficiently. Asked about it, and when I was slow to reply, he gently followed up. He asked if I had a booking form. He filled it out. He followed every instruction. That kind of effort signals real interest, and I appreciate it.

When he arrived, he was chill. Left the money immediately. The session went smoothly.

He followed my guidance without resistance.

And yet—I have no idea how much he enjoyed it. He had one of those poker faces. With some clients, you know immediately whether they're in bliss or just enduring. With him?

A puzzle. Not in a bad way. Just… unreadable.

He thanked me, got up, and left. Clean. Efficient. A little mysterious.

I liked his energy. He had a distinct sense of style—always nice to witness. Someone who's made aesthetic choices and wears them comfortably.

An 8 out of 10. Nothing negative to point to. But there wasn't a particular spark, that intense polarity that makes the very best sessions what they are. Sometimes it's just a good, solid, professional session. And that's fine.

I'm calling him Asian Poker Face. With good style. Lol.

Final Reflection

Four men. Four completely different dynamics. The one who showed up with presence and surrender. The one who lives in his fantasies and keeps coming back. The generous young newcomer who brought wine and couldn't forgive his own body. The stylish enigma who kept his secrets.

This is the work. It's not one thing. It's a constant calibration—of energy, of boundaries, of what I give and what I hold back. I'm getting better at it.

And I'm grateful, genuinely, for each of them. Even the ones who leave me guessing.